someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
Bang-toberfest begins!!
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
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