we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
