Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
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