dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
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