I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
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