i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
Randomize
