I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
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