hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
im calling her cock vulture from now on
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
Randomize
