gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
I'm not looking forward to the waking up early part. Or actually the wedding part. Or the reception part. But I am looking forward to the meaningless sex with some random guy I meet at the reception part.
Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
Randomize
