mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
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