HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
Randomize