i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?
one can only hope.
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
Randomize
