I just saw a hot homeless man
we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
I woke up with my phone plugged into an extension cord in my garage. No clue how I got home. Videos of me flogging my roommate with my set of keys telling him he's the worst roommate ever. And my mom woke me up at 8am asking how to make a DVD...Goddamnit first Friday.
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize
