i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
I'm going to write a letter. It's going to say, Dear Every Girl Ever: Take some goddam initiative and wake me up with a blowjob and I will eat out of your hand. Love, Every Guy Ever
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
Randomize
