Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
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