Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
Randomize
