I hate your face
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
Randomize
