if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
Randomize
