I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
Randomize
