$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
I have post one night stand depression
Randomize
