Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
Why did I call the Oregon Department of Transportation at 4:30 in the morning, and who did I talk to for three minutes?
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
I've gotten 23 condolence texts about Germany's defeat. I got 3 for our break-up. That's how much my friends don't like you.
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
We need to feng shui this bitch.
Randomize
