Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Why are there condoms taped to the handle of Tito’s?
I get horny when I drink, pregnant when I fuck and I never lose the booze unlike my purse
Randomize
