I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
I puked a lego.
tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
Randomize
