i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
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