she smelled like a LAN party
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
Randomize
