she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
Randomize
