he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
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