We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
Randomize
