DUDE. I'm missing my big toenail. My bed has blood all over it. WHAT DID WE DO LAST NIGHT?
I don't know, but I chipped my tooth and I'm wearing different underwear.
plans for tonight: dress up like pirates, drink a bottle of mad dog and watch the sorostitues across the street get naked. and yes, the mad dog part is already in play. hurry the fuck up. i look like a loser doing this alone.
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
Randomize
