we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize
