I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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