i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
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