Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style?
You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush.
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
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