Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
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