I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
Randomize
