windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
What a dumb baby whore.
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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