my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
Randomize