are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
Randomize
