it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
Randomize
