Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
I had to cum in my sink.
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
Randomize
