I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
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