if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
Randomize
