You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
Randomize
