5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
Randomize
