ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
i was born a porn star she said
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
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