Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize
