dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
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