Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
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