Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
Randomize
