he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
Randomize
