margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
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