Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
Randomize
