one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
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