I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
Randomize
