$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Randomize