i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
I just googled if crying burns calories
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
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