yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
Randomize
