I woke up this morning wearing my tux shirt and jacket, but no pants.
______ was pissed. My breath tastes like tequila and doritos, and I couldn't get it up.
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
areolas are like halos for boobs.
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
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