all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
Mass text: You have all failed me. How have the people I loved so much let me go so long in life without ever eating a McRib sandwich?!
Randomize