Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
Boobs are out for the taking
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
Your shirt... Was in my pants
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
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