So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
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