i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
Randomize