Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
Randomize
