God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
Watching her eat just hurts me
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
Randomize
