You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
Randomize
