I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
Remember when you laughed that I downloaded a “fireplace” station on my Roku? I just woke up butt naked on my couch with my fireplace station playing. So there, guess that shows you. Now excuse me while I go back to sleep in front of my fireplace.
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