should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
Randomize
